News Ticker

Revolution in Cleaning the Floor (No. Really!) By: Laura Winton

INT.  KITCHEN.

There is a woman with an apron on cooking.  You only see the woman from the knees up.  A man starts to walk in the kitchen.  This may or may not be a scene from a 50s television show.

WOMAN:  Be careful walking in here.  The floor is kind of wet.

MAN:  What did you do, spill something on the floor?

WOMAN:  No silly, I’ve been mopping the floor while I cook.

MAN:    While you cook?  You must be Superwoman!

Pan down to the woman’s feet.

WOMAN:  I can do it all with my new microfiber slippers!

They both laugh and look into the camera.

 

This is the cheesy commercial I was writing in my head as I was cooking and wearing my new microfiber slippers.

Side note  – I do most of my best writing/thinking when I am not actually in front of the computer,  because when I am, all I do is play Song Pop and Scrabble on Facebook.  But, I digress.

I first saw these on the internet, probably in an ad I saw on Facebook.  I lusted after them as soon as I saw them.  All I have to do is walk around in these slippers and I can be mopping the floor at the same time?  What a great invention!  As on older student, I don’t really look forward to bending over to mop the floor and getting on my hands and knees to scrub.  So I waited a few months until I had the extra $10 or so.  (I am a graduate student and we are famously poor.)  I ordered my slippers from Groupon and anxiously awaited my package.

When my package arrived and I tried the slippers on, I realized that they were a “onesie” and were made to fit Sasquatch, not my women’s size 7 feet.  I immediately flipped back to Groupon to look at the product reviews, kicking myself for not having checked that out before bought the slippers.  Sure enough, everyone was complaining that they were too big.  I still walked around in them for a while, but they kept falling off my feet.  They might have been made to fit over other shoes or slippers, but I am not going to do that and I suspect most other people won’t as well.  The one place I could wear these was in the shower, and my shower has never been cleaner!  (At least, when I remember to put them on.  Considering they are kept on the side of the bathtub, you would think I would remember very frequently.  But somehow they have just become part of the bathtub and only get work occasionally.  But I digress.)

Undaunted, I decide to go where everyone with a computer goes to look for an alternative. Amazon!  Sure enough, there were about 10 different types of microfiber slippers available, and many of them were sized.  I picked out a pair of stylish pink slippers size 7-9 and anxiously awaited my package in the mail.

Side note – Is there anything better than having a package from Amazon show up at your doorstep?  You know what I am talking about!

My package arrived the other day and I have been wearing my slippers in the kitchen ever since.  It’s great because while I am walking around the kitchen, if I see a stubborn stain the floor, I simply stand there and rub my foot over it until it comes up!  You can put a little bit of cleaner on the bottom of the slippers and when you need to wash them, the soles are detachable and can be tossed in with the laundry.  I am not someone to endorse products, but this is a great one.  I won’t tell you which brand you should buy, except to say that you should get the ones that are sized, rather than the “onesie.”

 

INTERIOR.  KITCHEN.

The man and the woman are both wearing microfiber slippers and dancing across the room romantically.  There is appropriate music in the background.

MAN:  Oh honey, I never thought we could be this romantic while we were mopping the floor!

WOMAN:  I’ve dreamed it could be like this.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: