Junk Food/Non-Organic Manifesto By: Laura Winton

Our planet is becoming more and more polluted every day. People fool themselves every day into thinking that they can escape this, moving to organic farms, to buying organic fruit, vegetables and meat that is raised on the same types of food.

These people are delusional!

As if PCBs and other toxins, run off from farm chemicals, etc. don’t touch organic farms, as if they are somehow immune. As if the fallout from Fukishima, the Bikini Islands, from the Asian tsunami does not wash upon our distant shores and pollute our air and our land. As if we are not still feeling the environmental effects of Bhopal,Chernobyl, and Three Mile Island.

Darwin has taught us that only the fittest survive, but what is it to be fit in today’s society? Nature teaches us that we must adapt. The time has come, friends, to adapt to our pre-apocalyptic world now, before the post- and apocalyptic render us extinct.

It has been said that Twinkies have a shelf-life of 30 years. That is over 1/3 the shelf life of man himself. The so-called junk food of today will of necessity be the health food of tomorrow, the food of the astronauts is upon us. Tang and Doritos and Twinkies will soon replace the rotted asparagus and broccoli that the contaminated ground now house. The time has come to inoculate ourselves so as to be prepared to survive the wretched earth that will be left to us. Ours is not only to survive, but to thrive.

It must be asked, if these non-organic foods can stay preserved for so long, what must the benefit be to human kind? Indeed, already it is discovered that corpses are taking longer to decompose as a result of these non-organic diets. Soon that will also apply to the living. Perhaps the secret of eternal life is to be found in a candy bar, not in a leaf of lettuce.

The answer then is not to retreat to organic farms based on a nostalgic notion of yesteryear, but to embrace the non-organic future that awaits us. But we must do it now so that someday our bodies will be ready.

It will not be an instantaneous process for most. You will have to gradually abandon not only your eating habits but your very ideas of health itself. You must embrace that which you have been told is toxic, begin eating these things made in factories that will continue to be made long after the animals and the plants are inedible. You must hoard these things in bulk, en masse, lay up your treasures now, so that they will be here, ready and waiting with their long shelf lives, to be consume after the grass.

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